GREAT painful lesson of this day : STOP TALKING WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND

i'm alright

i'm just okay

yeah..i've never felt this way before

it's gonna be ended soon

i'm about to put my life on someone's willing

it's not a big deal

DEFINITELY NOT A BIG DEAL :

if i'm not a girl.

but the fact's talking to me trough this mirror..
long not-so-black hair
pair of swollen eyes
this red lips
blushing cheeks
and whatever that GOD has installed in my body that makes me looks like a girl

do i look like a boy?

but, hey..who the hell is going to care about it anyway?
i don't need anybody
noone


keep movin forward
that's what The Robinsons said.
that's it
this is A PAINFUL NOTE FOR NOONE
not even for you
it's just a simply reminder-wake-up-call for me
to just STOP TALKING WHAT'S ON MY MIND

for my mom

''i learned a lot from yesterday, and i'm trying my best to give all the effort in me to make today better.''

that's what my mom told me.

LEARNED A LOT FROM YESTERDAY means a lot to me, trough all of my life journey i've met lot of people. but none of them are purely loyal. "mostly, loyalty comes out when you're in such a desperate needs of something that u can't afford" (quotes by me, 2001 ;) )
that's what i saw, that's what i felt..
people around me, inside of my life, they only being loyal for some privately purpose.
quite hurts a lot
but hey, i got my mom. who else in this fake world that has pure love like she does?
NOONE...only her.

this one goes out for you, mom.
the rest of them are just fake.
GOD is GREAT,
GOD is testing me with all of this problems but GOD gave me such a great present to accompany me, to guide me, to hold me, and to love me unconditionally with no time limit.
it's you, mom.
IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOU.

my mom and me ;)

i wasn't happy yesterday..but hey!!it's today.. :p

keep talking, i won't bother you!!

the day is getting closer and amazingly the lousy 'commentators' are flying around.

 they're so different from the way they used to be.

 GOD is great!!

and i'm still here..ready to have my own life. 

ready to FIGHT y'all back but not with all the same way that u did to me.

i'm gonna fight you back with the kindness in me.

i'm gonna pray to GOD, to let y'all be a better person.

i'm not angry.

i'm not sad.

i'm happy..GOD help me.

help me know y'all better, without the hesitation.

without the suspect statement,

but by all the way you act

GOD is great..

well yeah..i'm about to welcome my happiness

what y'all did won't affect me.

not even a single word.

coz i knew, haters don't really hate people..they're just too jealous because they can't be the just exactly like people they hate.

his eyes

his willingness

his strength

and her trully everlasting love.

they are my power

GOD is great by letting me havin my fiance and my greatest mom.

you and me

our first date

that's us, almost a year ago. our first official date, the world seemed sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......bright and full of love. every song that i heard could possibly automatically turned into love song, even if it was some hard-rock-metal-funk latest single :)

our first anniversary

that's me. with MBUL..whatta name?this is the present from him. i'm crazy about cow. i nearly get my own cow-doll ranch in my room..but i kinda love this one soooooo much,  hihi...that was our first anniversary ;) March 17th 2011..almost 67days after the engagement day, and 24 more days before our wedding day . whatta blessed, i never thought that he's the one that i'm about marrying..it was far beyond my imagination. but everytime i pinched my own cheek, well yeah..it's real.

our wedding invitation, u know how much i luv green ;)

i don't have "almost married" t-shirt

 that's the invitation card for our wedding, well technically it's not really a card. it was actually a handycraft, which is all-that-recycleable stuff ;) go green, everyone? hehe..well, it was soooooo me, i luv the color green, and i love everything about recycleable stuff. that's me ;) i'm doing everything by myself, which is soooooooooooooooooooooo sucks..i mean hey, your body is getting tired..you look pale (lack of sleep, it makes your face look even more pale than Edward Cullen) and you cried a lot,,,,i'll catch this on my post later :) the most important that is actually kinda hurt when people around u started to be selfish in your very momentous event :( so it's only me and him. hopefully we're getting stronger and everything's going to be great ;)

happy-go blogging!!

happiness always comes along with the sadness
it all depends on how we deal with it.
well, now..

imma take 75 percent of happiness,

5 percent of sadness,

and the rest of it for my brain's efficiency to provide another 'a-lot-like-a-pro' blog :)

i'm happy then i got sad but i keep on blogging ;)